Note to self: modern idioms

The phrase "hot mess" does not mean what you think it does. Do a little research before spreading this around.

note to self: laughing at others' embarrassment

When the guy walking in front of you says hi to someone going the other way and is ignored, don't laugh. He will turn around, and he will be pissed. Also, quickly looking away and pretending to read posters on the wall won't make him think it was someone else. I know you were thinking this would be a great first meeting scenario for a romantic comedy, but really it's more likely this will end with your windshield being kicked in. Just saying.