note to self: laundry from hell

You thought you were so smart buying that new shirt at Goodwill, didn't you? You get a nice item of clothing, save a few bucks, and no one knows the difference. Maybe you were going to take yourself out for ice cream with the savings.

Wrong.

This shirt is not a bargain. It costs $3.95 plus your sanity.

Being the savvy shopper that you are, you read the tag and see it's hand wash only. Okay, no problem, you'll throw it in the sink with a splash of detergent and it's good to go.

Wrong again.

As soon as your beautiful red shirt hits the water, it's like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre up in there. Your wash water goes from clear to opaque in 5 seconds, and you're elbow deep in it before you know what hit you.

It becomes readily apparent that this is no ordinary shirt, as you cycle the rinse water at an alarming rate. The bathroom looks like a murder scene, your garment is hemorrhaging like a Hanover, and you are powerless to stop it.

After about thirty rinses you realize the damn thing was dyed with unicorn blood and hand stitched by Lady MacBeth.

It is, after all, the only logical explanation.